Saturday, October 16, 2010

A DEFINITION OF RAPE & 10 Questions About Rapists and Truth-telling

image/anti-rape slogan is from here
Revised on 17 Oct. 2010 ECD

1. What percent of men who are rapists admit to those they've violated and abused that they committed rape?

2. What percent of men who are rapists, when appropriately charged with rape, deny the rape charge?

3. What percent of men who are rapists, when accused of rape, claim the accuser is a liar?

4. What percent of married men who are rapists, when they rape their own child, admit to doing so to their spouse?

5. What percent of child molesters confess to the police that they are raping and sexually assaulting children?

6. What percent of men who rape women in systems of prostitution believe they have committed rape?

7. What percent of men who are married to a woman and believe that married men are entitled to sex from their spouses, believe that a husband coercing or forcing his wife to have sex is rapist behavior?

8. What percent of men who publicly accuse women of falsely accusing men of rape have also committed rape against a woman, or a child of any gender, at least once in their lifetime?

9. What percent of men who are falsely accused of rape by someone, have, in fact, raped someone else in their lifetime who never accused them of rape?

10. What percent of men rape over the course of their lifetime?

The definition of a man or male committing rape, here, is this: 
penetrative sexual contact with another person that is unwelcomed, unwanted, or undesired; 
that is forced or coerced in ways that the man knows will enable him to have penetrative sex without her/him giving expressed permission; 
penetrative sex that happens when s/he has never indicated, verbally or not, "yes" to it happening; that is obtained while the raped person is drugged, drunk, or dissociated sufficiently for her/him to not be able to give meaningful consent;  
that occurs while the person penetrated is unconscious or dead; that is accomplished by waiting for the raped person to be drunk enough to be coerced into having sexual intercourse that he knows s/he wouldn't consent to while sober; 
penetrative sex that happens when a man or male assumes he is socially or personally entitled to have sexual intercourse, doesn't obtain explicit permission to do so when he initiates it, and doesn't bother to find out if she welcomes and wants it; 
penetrative sex that happens when a man is economically or socially empowered to obtain sexual intercourse when he wants it and acts out those privileges and that power when s/he doesn't have exactly the same level of social, personal, cognitive, economic, or political power, privilege, and sense of entitlement; 
penetrative sex that happens after s/he has said yes to kissing and fondling, but no to penetrative sex of any kind, and he proceeds to have sexual intercourse with her/him; 
penetrative sex obtained in a context where s/he fears he (or more than one man) may kill or injure her if s/he resists it or protests in any way; 
penetrative sex that happens while or soon after he (or any man present) is holding a knife or gun or other weapon, such as a fist or a threat, that instills fear and/or terror in her/him; 
penetrative sex that occurs while s/he is being beaten up; 
penetrative sex that occurs between a man and a child; penetrative sex that occurs between a free man and a slave and/or anyone being sexually trafficked.

Rape, or abusive penetrative sex is first and foremost defined and determined through description of the experience by the one harmed. Penetrative sex, abusive or not abusive, doesn't necessarily involve a male/man's penis. If it is abusive, it might involve his hands or any other part of his body or any object he uses to invasively breach the trust and the physical boundary of another human being. The invaded person decides what is invasion, not the invader. How the invaded and/or violated and betrayed person feels is one part of what may determine whether rape has occurred. If the person assaulted is so dissociated prior to the assault or during the assault, so as to not feel anything at all, to not be present, then how s/he feels at a later time maybe be necessary information. It may take years to know this. Therefore a male/man who has invaded or violated another human being who doesn't state this happened right way ought not conclude no assault or rape occurred.

If you are a male/man and read that definition and feel like there's no way for you to have sexual intercourse or penetrative sex that isn't rape, and you've had penetrative sex, you ought to assess how many times you've committed rape and report yourself to the police as a sex offender. You also ought to not have sex again until you know how to have sex in a context of mutuality, concern, regard, respect, and overt consent being present.

To those who accuse "radical feminists" (or, in this case here, a radical profeminist) of stating that "all men are rapists", please note that the questions posed her make no such assumption, and, in fact, assume that not all men are rapists. I know not all men are rapists. I don't know what percentage of men commit rape or sexual assault at some point in their lives or many times throughout their lives, but I know, based on every bit of evidence out there that it's not the percentage that anti-feminist/anti-"misandrist"/pro-patriarchal/male supremacist men claim. Across the web at pro-rape websites and rape apologist websites, men claim that only 1% are rapists. I know that most men who rape don't admit to having raped and/or don't consider what they did to be rape. And I know most women and children who have been incest, molested, sexually assaulted, and/or raped, do not report it to any authority figure empowered to take action against the assaulter. When rape-apologist, patriarchy-denying men proclaim that a high number of rape charges by women against men are "false" they ought to factor in two main thing:

--most men who are rapists don't know when they've raped or choose to deny they have raped
--the rapes committed by men against women who subsequently don't speak out about being raped must count as experiences of rape that were not falsely reported--no report means no false report; no pro-rapism activists I know consider unreported rape to exist-as-real-rape or be relevant to any statistics on rape and false or true accusations of it. This is but one self-serving manipulation and denial of truth and reality male supremacists frequently engage in. They don't believe in ending rape as a practice of subordination, violation, and terrorism. They don't believe men are responsible for one another's behavior. They don't believe they do anything at all to promote rape.

In a society where rape is, among other things, a means of abusively dominating and harming individuals who are part of a larger group of oppressed people (women) oppressed by men, to argue individualistic non-responsibility is to render oneself ethically, morally, socially, and politically responsible for perpetuating rape, just as anyone who knows bullying exists and is not bullied and does nothing to stop it is partly responsible for the maintenance of bullying culture.

If you are a man and do not speak out against rape, and do not make sure you know how to prevent yourself from raping someone, you are either passively maintaining and actively perpetuating rape culture, and may also be perpetrating rape.

Please do not assume you or any man is incapable of committing rape, assault, or sexual violation of another person. Believing you and  any other man, or men generally, are "good, decent people" doesn't mean any man or men are not capable of committing sexual assault including rape. I have known very good men who have committed rape. Some of the best (most humane) het men I know, in fact, have committed rape and admit to having done so.

Why Most Rapists Have a Permanent "Get Out of [Going to] Jail Free" Card

image of card from Parker Bros. Monopoly board game is from here; we can note the figure on the card is white, a man, and not poor--his well-tended moustache was a sign of class privilege at the time

The above video is from CBS News and if it is not playing properly above, it may be viewed *here*. Please disregard the stupid commercial before the news segment: it's important to capitalist media but not to those of us who are sexual assault survivors, that we get sold lots of CRAP before we find out any accurate information about rape. Please also note the racism in the report. Note which cities are targeted in the CBS report. What is the race of the raped person? Also ask yourself this question: What race do you associate with each of the cities noted that were investigated, before they get to the part about NYC's practice of testing all rape kits. This is how WHM supremacist media perpetuate racist myths while telling stories that contain accurate information. And the racism is not just in trying to associate men of color with "the rapists", but it is also by associating only white women as the women who are raped. To erase women of color as a population of women raped by het men of all colors is to perpetuate white het male supremacy. To ignore the rape of poor women is, in the U.S., both an act of classism and an act of racism, as the population of poor people in the U.S. are disproportionately poor. That poor women being raped is almost entirely ignored by the media is one way to perpetuate white het male supremacy. To ignore the fact that one in three women (compared to one in four women nationally) are raped, primarily by white men, when the women are American Indian, is also to perpetuate white het male supremacy.

If you only see men of color shown as rapists on television, ask why that is. It's not because men of color rape more than white men do. It is because the media wants you to think men of color, especially Black and Brown men, rape more than white men do. It's also because the racist police are more likely to arrest a Black or Brown man accused of rape than a white man. If you only see white women shown as the population of women who are raped, ask yourself why that is. It's not because only white women are raped.

If you see more news stories on television about the problem of men being falsely accused of rape than you do of men being accurately accused of rape, ask yourself why that is. It's not because most accusations of rape, by a woman against a man, are false. Well over 90% of accusations of rape by women against men are truthful, accurate, and valid. Most men who are rapists will never be [accurately] accused of rape.

If men who are rapists are not described as domestic terrorists by the media, ask yourself why that is. It's not because men who rape in this country aren't domestic terrorists. It's because women being terrorised by men is not considered "terrorism". It's not considered terrorism because men aren't terrorised.

All of this perpetuates white het male supremacy and systemic and systematic rape as a form of social-political control and domination of women by men, by denying various truths about rape in the U.S.

Not Surprising: Men Who Are College Students and Rapists Don't Get Arrested or Even Expelled From School Most of the Time While One in Four Female College Students Will Be Sexually Assaulty By a Male Student/Rapist Before Graduation

image is from here
To hear privileged het men talk, you'd think the social atrocity is het men being falsely accused of rape by a woman or girl. To witness social activity--aka, reality--you realise the atrocity, with regard to rape, is rape: all forms of it, against females of all ages by het males of many ages. To understand how many het male rapists there are registered and actively predatorial and regularly perpetrating rape in colleges across the U.S. is something most het men don't wish to consider, let alone take action against--meaning, to stop rape: to end rape on college campuses and to end rape off college campuses. 

Het men will frequently cry foul when accused of rapes they commit. Few men who rape have the courage or "the balls" to use the lexicon of masculinist men, to admit when they rape a woman and to turn themselves into to appropriate authorities for appropriate consequences. Few of the men who are accurately accused of rape will see a day in jail, let alone many days and nights in jail. 

I wonder what percent of men who are college students (accurately accused of rape by a woman) claim not to be a rapist, to have done nothing wrong, to have committed no crime? What percent of men who are college students and rapers of women students accuse those he rapes of lying if she accuses him of doing what he did? I'd like to know. If anyone knows, please post the answer here. 

Two articles follow. Each may be linked back to their source by clicking on the title.
While a man who rapes off-campus could face years in jail for his crime, a man who rapes on-campus is unlikely to even be expelled.

Two Michigan State University basketball players accused of sexually assaulting a young woman in their dorm are off the hook, according to a report released by The Michigan Messenger.
Many elements of the case are typical of campus acquaintance rape scenarios. The accused are college athletes and the assault allegedly occurred after a night of drinking and casual socializing:
The victim told police the players penetrated her in various positions. The victim told detectives the players allegedly asked her ‘how does that feel?’ and ‘how do you want it?’ The victim says she told the players she didn’t want it and gave ‘other indicators she was not a willing participant.’
The victim told police that the players pinned her down, but at one point she freed her arms momentarily and struck one in the face. In response, he allegedly said, “Don’t. Just relax. C’mon baby,” as he continued to assault her.
But what sets this particular case apart from others is that one of the accused players actually corroborates the victim’s statement, admitting to authorities that he knew the young woman was unwilling:
During his interview with detectives, the one player who volunteered a statement corroborated much of the victim’s statement, the report shows. He told investigators that when it was clear from the victim’s statements that she did not want to have sex, he stopped. However, the other player continued ‘despite her reluctance and statements that she did not want to continue.’ The victim confirms that player’s account.
The player told detectives he was concerned “over the girl’s reaction to the circumstances,” noting she was “timid” and “not aggressive.” The player then admitted to detectives that he understood how the woman believed she was not welcome to leave the room, in part because she kept referencing that the two were “bigger” than her.
Given the player’s affirmation of the victim’s statement, the case against the men should have been a “slam dunk.” Accordingly, the MSU Police Department wasted no time sending their report to the prosecutor’s office, with the recommendation that both men be charged with Criminal Sexual Conduct 1, the severest level of sexual assault under Michigan law.

But the assigned prosecutor, Stuart Dunnings, has declined to press charges against the athletes, saying that the prosecutor’s office is not convinced that force or coercion occurred in this case (a judgment directly contradicted by the police report), and that the victim herself chose not to press charges (a claim denied by the victim).

Dunning’s decision, while reprehensible, shouldn’t be surprising. An investigation of sexual assault on campuses conducted last year by The Center for Public Integrity (CPI) found that the number of prosecutions of campus acquaintance rapes is minuscule. When prosecutors turn down these cases, the only available recourse for many victims is to seek justice through their university’s disciplinary system. Unfortunately, most colleges are ill-equipped to investigate and resolve sexual assault cases, and moreover are unwilling to impose harsh sanctions on perpetrators.

A 2002 report [PDF] commissioned by the Department of Justice found a number of inherent problems with university policies and practices regarding sexual assault, including a tendency to “unintentionally condone victim-blaming.” Only 38 percent of schools require sexual assault sensitivity training for campus law enforcement, while only 37 percent fully comply with federal regulations about reporting crimes. The CPI investigation similarly found that even when college administrators deem a student guilty of sexual assault, they are reluctant to expel the perpetrator:
Verdicts are educational, not punitive, opportunities. … Not every sexual offense deserves the harshest penalty, [administrators] argue; not every culpable student is a hardened criminal.
So, while a man who rapes off-campus could face years in jail for his crime, a man who rapes on-campus is unlikely to even be expelled. In too many cases, student rapists face mere suspension or even lighter sanctions. The tendency among administrators to view sexual assaults as “teachable moments” flies in the face of evidence that student rapists are often serial rapists—guilty of victimizing an average of six women during their college career.

The decision to absolve student rapists of their crimes can be costly, as doing so could violate Title IX, the federal civil rights law that bars sex discrimination in publicly funded educational programs. In recent years, the ACLU has won two landmark lawsuits against public universities guilty of letting rapists off the hook. In 2008, Arizona State University paid out $850,000 after it failed to expel an athlete with a history of harassment who later raped a young woman, and in 2007 the University of Colorado paid out $2.5 million after members of its football team sexually assaulted two women.

Whether Michigan State University will take action against the basketball players accused of rape remains to be seen. The prospects don’t look good. While the Office of Postsecondary Education shows that the university reported 32 forcible sex offenses on its campus between 2007 and 2009, it does not show any reports of disciplinary actions associated with those crimes.

Catherine Traywick is an Arizona-based blogger for The Media Consortium.

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Photo: domesticviolence

The summer is over. For many female college students it's once again time to hit the books. If your a freshman, it's a brand new life experience. New friends. New romances, and a sense of freedom like no other. It's also a time when we are most vulnerable. How vulnerable? 1 in 4 college females will be raped by the time they walk down the aisle and accept their degree. The statistics are staggering.

A recent study from the Department of Justice estimated that 25 percent of college women will be victims of rape or attempted rape before they graduate within a four-year college period, and that women between the ages of 16 to 24 will experience rape at a rate that's four times higher than the assault rate of all women.

Here's the problem. Many campus assault victims stay quiet or refuse to get help. A lot of times when people think of being raped, they think of someone dressed all in black, lurking in the bushes. This is so very, very far from reality. A rapist can be someone you know. Someone who you are friends with, or even someone you are dating. The bottom line is that when you say...NO.....It means NO.

A wonderful guide that is put out by the Department of Justice is called, Acquaintance Rape of College Students by Rana Sampson. It's a guide that should be read by parents as well as students. Here is the link for the entire booklet:

Rape is a very personal violation. Most women do not want to report it due to all the additional mental anguish it entails. It's also a "he said, she said" assault. They fear that no one will believe them. Well, there is plenty of help out there AND YES THEY WILL BELIEVE YOU. You just have to ask.

The following website, AARDVARK, which stands for An Abuse, Rape and Domestic Violence Aid and Resource Collection, is one of Florida's leading organizations for help in all areas of rape and domestic violence. It has all the information you will need in seeking help by those who know what you are going through. They offer all kinds of resources in your specific town, as well as books and DVD's to help you with this difficult time in your life. Here is their link: