[image is from here]
So there's this "anti-racist, 'feminist'" white dood named Matt. He's been harassing a Black woman whose name I will not publish. He takes his harassment of her--his racist/misogynistic lingo about her--public, as well as private. I've called him out and now he thinks I must BE that Black woman he is going after publicly... because Lorde knows there aren't many white men who will call out other white men on their white male supremacist CRAP. So I do get why he might assume that. However...
Here's my latest reply to him.
Re: "I’m a lifelong feminist. I’ve been a feminist since before [woman's name deleted] even discovered it."
First, I'm not her. Go check out my blog: A Radical Profeminist. And go check out my writings on Stan Goff's blog, A Feral Scholar. I've been writing since before you were *mistakenly* calling yourself a feminist.
Second, stop trying to defend yourself and portray yourself as the victim in this story. You have more structural and systemic power, the right to name reality, define character, explain psychology, and be defensive as if you're entitled to be thought of as fully human and truly good person than any Black woman in the U.S. and most other places as well.
Third, stop deflecting. Nothing you say will excuse your fucked up misogynist/racist language that YOU, a whiteboy, use publicly against ANY Black woman. Got it?
[Name removed] called your sorry white ass out on this too, right? So how many ppl have to do so before you GET IT: it's NOT feminist of you to call ANY woman a b*tch, and it's ESPECIALLY RACIST AND MISOGYNISTIC of you to call ANY Black woman a "crazy b*tch" and if you don't know that, you surely have no goddamned business calling yourself "feminist"!
You have no business calling yourself that term anyway, DOOD, as men always appropriate the terms women use for their own movements and then claim to be the fucking experts. In our dreams, yes. And in our delusionally (while institutionally supported) overblown egos.
You're not behaving in a basic anti-sexist/anti-racist manner, so where the hell do you get off calling yourself a feminist? And claiming you've been one since before she was born? Dood, that's SO fucked up.
ANY woman will and does know more about patriarchal harm than you ever will, and what it feels like to be sliced by words used as weapons to shut women up and to hurt them, including terms like "crazy b*tch". So you're not making yourself look at all heroic and good here, just so's ya know.
You're making yourself sound like a precociously self-important five year-old and a typical white man: reactive, defensive, and arrogant.
You condescendingly (by your own admission above) approach her with this condescending attitude of you imparting wise counsel to her. Why don't you fucking listen to what at least THREE people have told you, including [name removed] and me, and SHUT UP about this once and for all.
If you're a feminist (cough), then you'd know that BLACK WOMEN, and especially ONE BLACK WOMAN is not YOUR PROBLEM or YOUR ENEMY. Take your energy to racist. misogynistic white guys.
Your engagement with or about her IS the problem here, and your use of misogynist and racist language to describe her, including disrespecting an established writer's name, by writing "[a fucked up version of her name]".
What the hell are you, in grade school? You find that shit "clever" and "witty" and oh-so-feminist and anti-racist? Making fun of a woman's name, a Black person's name???
Whiteboy, grow the fuck up, and learn to shut up when it's "wise" for you to do so.
And stop behaving like a fucking victim here. You're not victim. Victims structurally, systemically, and in this particular instance, aren't white straight men who hurl harmful racist-sexist language at a Black woman PUBLICLY and REPEATEDLY, as well as privately.
THAT behavior makes you white AND male supremacist. Got it?
So take my "wise counsel" and stop you're misogynistic campaign of endless "truth-telling" because it's obvious you'll only tell your side of the story, just like the whiteboys who are not at all feminist/anti-racist oh-so-typically do.
If you want more of a clue about what's white male supremacist about yourself/your behavior (same thing, in the social world, "my friend"), then read three things: Yurugu by Marimba Ani, Deals With The Devil and Other Reasons to Riot, by Pearl Cleage, especially the part about listening to people you structurally oppress while NOT in a defensive posture. Please also read "Everyday Male Chauvinism", written by white males who GET IT, which you can Google to find online.
Or, just go to these links:
Also read this stuff (that white people do), to GET IT about what YOU'RE doing that is fucked up and white supremacist, sir:
(or go on and on in an ego-defensive MALE SUPREMACIST way, over-explaining things on in a Black social space)
http://stuffwhitepeopledo.blogspot.com/2010/01/blame-their-accusers-instead-of [holding themselves accountable].html
http://stuffwhitepeopledo.blogspot.com/2010/01/treat-black-women-like-theyre-made-of [teflon, etc.].html
Check this list self-reflectively, from here:
http://stuffwhitepeopledo.blogspot.com/2010/01/offer-white-apologetics-instead-of-just [simply apologising].html?showComment=1263679216397#c6941165405974680931
- At least I’m not like other white people
- My interpretation of the situation is correct.
- You need to forgive me..
- Ignore the pain I caused you.
- I didn’t mean it that way.
- ...Angry Black Woman...
- You’re implying I’m a racist.
That stuff, plus the stuff men do listed in "Everyday Male Chauvinism", should make you a better human being. Let's hope so, for every woman, every person of color, and ESPECIALLY every WOMAN OF COLOR you'll encounter from now on.
Please DO NOT REPLY with more explanations of yourself. That hole is only getting deeper, dood. Get out and take on white male supremacist men, like the "anti-racist feminist" you so arrogantly proclaim yourself to be.