Friday, February 12, 2010

To Matt: an Inglorious Arrogant Bastard, and to all the other white men who think you're anti-racist and "feminist"...

[image is from here]

So there's this "anti-racist, 'feminist'" white dood named Matt. He's been harassing a Black woman whose name I will not publish. He takes his harassment of her--his racist/misogynistic lingo about her--public, as well as private. I've called him out and now he thinks I must BE that Black woman he is going after publicly... because Lorde knows there aren't many white men who will call out other white men on their white male supremacist CRAP. So I do get why he might assume that. However...

Here's my latest reply to him.


Re: "I’m a lifelong feminist. I’ve been a feminist since before [woman's name deleted] even discovered it."

First, I'm not her. Go check out my blog: A Radical Profeminist. And go check out my writings on Stan Goff's blog, A Feral Scholar. I've been writing since before you were *mistakenly* calling yourself a feminist.

Second, stop trying to defend yourself and portray yourself as the victim in this story. You have more structural and systemic power, the right to name reality, define character, explain psychology, and be defensive as if you're entitled to be thought of as fully human and truly good person than any Black woman in the U.S. and most other places as well.

Third, stop deflecting. Nothing you say will excuse your fucked up misogynist/racist language that YOU, a whiteboy, use publicly against ANY Black woman. Got it?

[Name removed] called your sorry white ass out on this too, right? So how many ppl have to do so before you GET IT: it's NOT feminist of you to call ANY woman a b*tch, and it's ESPECIALLY RACIST AND MISOGYNISTIC of you to call ANY Black woman a "crazy b*tch" and if you don't know that, you surely have no goddamned business calling yourself "feminist"!

You have no business calling yourself that term anyway, DOOD, as men always appropriate the terms women use for their own movements and then claim to be the fucking experts. In our dreams, yes. And in our delusionally (while institutionally supported) overblown egos.

You're not behaving in a basic anti-sexist/anti-racist manner, so where the hell do you get off calling yourself a feminist? And claiming you've been one since before she was born? Dood, that's SO fucked up.

ANY woman will and does know more about patriarchal harm than you ever will, and what it feels like to be sliced by words used as weapons to shut women up and to hurt them, including terms like "crazy b*tch". So you're not making yourself look at all heroic and good here, just so's ya know.

You're making yourself sound like a precociously self-important five year-old and a typical white man: reactive, defensive, and arrogant.

You condescendingly (by your own admission above) approach her with this condescending attitude of you imparting wise counsel to her. Why don't you fucking listen to what at least THREE people have told you, including [name removed] and me, and SHUT UP about this once and for all.

If you're a feminist (cough), then you'd know that BLACK WOMEN, and especially ONE BLACK WOMAN is not YOUR PROBLEM or YOUR ENEMY. Take your energy to racist. misogynistic white guys.

Your engagement with or about her IS the problem here, and your use of misogynist and racist language to describe her, including disrespecting an established writer's name, by writing "[a fucked up version of her name]".

What the hell are you, in grade school? You find that shit "clever" and "witty" and oh-so-feminist and anti-racist? Making fun of a woman's name, a Black person's name???

Whiteboy, grow the fuck up, and learn to shut up when it's "wise" for you to do so.

And stop behaving like a fucking victim here. You're not victim. Victims structurally, systemically, and in this particular instance, aren't white straight men who hurl harmful racist-sexist language at a Black woman PUBLICLY and REPEATEDLY, as well as privately.

THAT behavior makes you white AND male supremacist. Got it?

So take my "wise counsel" and stop you're misogynistic campaign of endless "truth-telling" because it's obvious you'll only tell your side of the story, just like the whiteboys who are not at all feminist/anti-racist oh-so-typically do.

If you want more of a clue about what's white male supremacist about yourself/your behavior (same thing, in the social world, "my friend"), then read three things: Yurugu by Marimba Ani, Deals With The Devil and Other Reasons to Riot, by Pearl Cleage, especially the part about listening to people you structurally oppress while NOT in a defensive posture. Please also read "Everyday Male Chauvinism", written by white males who GET IT, which you can Google to find online.

Or, just go to these links:



Also read this stuff (that white people do), to GET IT about what YOU'RE doing that is fucked up and white supremacist, sir: [illness].html
(or go on and on in an ego-defensive MALE SUPREMACIST way, over-explaining things on in a Black social space) [holding themselves accountable].html [teflon, etc.].html

Check this list self-reflectively, from here: [simply apologising].html?showComment=1263679216397#c6941165405974680931

- At least I’m not like other white people

- My interpretation of the situation is correct.

- You need to forgive me..

- Ignore the pain I caused you.

- I didn’t mean it that way.

- ...Angry Black Woman...

- You’re implying I’m a racist.

That stuff, plus the stuff men do listed in "Everyday Male Chauvinism", should make you a better human being. Let's hope so, for every woman, every person of color, and ESPECIALLY every WOMAN OF COLOR you'll encounter from now on.

Please DO NOT REPLY with more explanations of yourself. That hole is only getting deeper, dood. Get out and take on white male supremacist men, like the "anti-racist feminist" you so arrogantly proclaim yourself to be.


Julian Real said...

For those interested, the link to many of those "stuff white people do" discussions is here @

Aina said...


I had a run-in with this punk too. He called himself "correcting" me on my proclivity to call sorry ass black men DBRs (Damaged Beyond Repair). I told him that DBRs are not making millions of dollars by disparaging his white mother/sister/friends/etc. The woman he has been attacking may or may not have told you of my own experience with him.

"Hey Hey!", Matt bristled, "You're out of line, Aina! I have always defen----"

Out of line? Did he just tell a black woman that she is OUT OF LINE?! At that point, I could no longer read. My eyes glossed over and I was done because he had truly revealed himself. I just closed the window and mentally ignored him.

Later, Matt demanded that I apologize to him for calling him on his White Savior Bullshit and that if I valued his precious white male friendship I would do so. Friendship? Other than being friends of friends of friends on Facebook, this motherfucker didn't know me from a pile of beans!

I blinked and hit the block button because I was NOT about to get my pressure up over this fool.

Anyway, thanks for this post. You have eloquently told him what I wish I would have before completely blocking him. Your blog is being favorited!


Chris O. said...

This is really, really messed up. The stuff this guy has said is fucking disgusting.

To the Black women who wouldn't take his bullshit and became targets of his aggression,

You have my full support and attention. This is wrong on so many levels. No one should ever have to go through this.

This needs to stop. Whatever it takes, this white male supremacist needs to be shut the fuck down. He has been called out and has continued to spew his hate.

Thank you Julian for spreading the word. Certainly I will do the same.

In full solidarity,
Chris O.

Julian Real said...

Hey Chris!

Thanks for that additional support. How obnoxious is this dood, thinking he can speak about Black women?

And he's not stopping yet.

Call his sorry pale male ass out.

Maybe if enough of us do, he'll get it. I'm not holding my breath, but it can't hurt to try and get him to listen more and speak less.

Julian Real said...

Welcome Aina!

Thank you so much for speaking out about this fool.

My friend Chris O. is also on board with calling his sorry ass out.

Make yourself right at home here, okay? And share whatever you'd like to. I appreciate your support and hope to be supportive of you and your work. If you encounter any more fools like him, pack his ass up and kick it on over.

I hope my work here lightens your load at least just a bit. Not enough white guys calling other white guys out on our CRAP. Never enough.

aileen said...

Wow, this guy sounds like a fuckin' ass. I'm sure everyone knows by now OF COURSE a white male is going to know MORE about racism and sexism than a womyn of colour.

What the actual fuck is wrong with people?

Julian Real said...

I LOVE that comment, aileen!!

Seriously, wtf IS Matt's misogynist-racist campaign about, REALLY? It's sure not going to get him any respect among people who care about oppressors behaving non-oppressively.

Celie's Revenge said...

Let me get this straight:

It’s vicious and unethical for a black woman to reject a white man’s advances and call him out on his racist sexist response to that rejection? Ok. Got it!

It’s viscous and unethical for a black woman to dare stand up for herself when that white man refuses to quit his harassment of her because she rejected him? Ok. Much clearer now!

So I must blame myself for all this.

I was under the mistaken impression that I as a black woman still had a right to reject a white man’s romantic advances because I was just not into him. I was very friendly to him. That’s just my personality with men. But you’ve seen Matt! Easy on the eyes he is not! LOL

Then I foolishly believed that I had a right to my opinion that Matt’s energy in pursuing me was sexist and manipulative (not racist at that point, that came later!) all of which I expressed to him warning it was bothering me before I requested no contact. But it still didn’t make him stop. He just called me cruel and tried to portray me as leading him on to justify his behavior, the very behavior I found creepy and pathetic. And after his advances were rejected he responded in a typically racist sexist fashion. He called me “girl” and of course said I was “crazy” and “dangerous” and how could I reject him after he stood up for me in this forum etc. Like his own friend Mario said, it’s the equivalent of Matt buying me a drink and then expecting I come home with him even though I assumed it was just a friendly gesture and I owed him nothing nor did ask or expect anything from him.

But suddenly and we know it’s suddenly because if you look at the date he started talking shit about me being evil it was the very day after he was on here defending me! And why? All because I didn’t want him, told him he’d crossed the line and I wanted no further contact with him.

And yes, I called him racist. And sexist. Any white male who goes berserk at a sista for rejecting his advances by calling her crazy, evil and “girl” is indeed racist and sexist. Most guys would just say fine. I’ll leave you alone if you don’t want me. Matt said how dare I? After all he did for me? After I was flirty and friendly on Facebook towards him. Suddenly I owed him a visit to DC and of course my attention and gratitude. LOL

It’s really sad that all that meant so much to him. I do that with a lot of dudes on Facebook all the time and none of them go berserk if I reject them. Some people know how to move on. But not Matt.

He goes on a rampage like a spolied white male brat with an wharped sense of entitlement to my attention & gratitude! Like Aina put it so well, Matt has a Tarzan Complex. Save the Negros and it will make him an honorary black guy who can call other black guys "brother" and gives him acess to the black bitches. But this black bitch don't want you cracker!

Get over it!

Celie's Revenge said...

He needs to own his Tarzan complex and stop accusing other white men like Julian of the shit that he himself is guilty of to the core!

Anyone can see from following Matt’s rants & raves in this forum that the very day I blew him off the very next day he went back here (just as I predicted he would) and started to bad mouth me.

I ignored him. I moved on with my life.

Then Linkedin in accidently sent him that invite. Matt used it as an opportunity to send me a very obnoxious and pathetic email! So I had to delete my account. Did that stop him? No. He continued his crusade. So I put up his pics. Did that stop him? Of course not. He’s on a mission to expose a cruel, viscous, dangerous unethical crazy (black) bitch because she didn’t want him!

Matt’s mission? To prove that he’s not a white male supremacist by calling a black woman a crazy bitch!

Works for me!

So I blame myself because I committed the mortal sin of not wanting Mattew Page-Lieberman.

I mean come on ladies: He’s good looking (pale, short, skinny, ugly, sleepy eyed) gainfully employed (broke & unemployed over 40 living with about 6 room mates) and sweet (as his rants & raves against me and now Aina another black woman who thinks he’s racist sexist turd show).

And for a white guy he’s very modest: Check out this Gem:

“I’m a lifelong feminist. I’ve been a feminist since before Jenn even discovered it.”

In other words ladies he’s a Great Catch. And he’s obviously on the market! Please scoop him up so he can finally get over me! I know it will be hard…I mean you’ve seen me! Even Matt admits, “The girl looks good!”

And please don’t get it twisted that’s what this is all about: “The girl looks good”. Matt’s words!

Black girl is friendly to white boy. White boy wants more than friendship. Black girl rejects white boy.

White boy goes nuts!


Kristen said...

I have been dealing with this asshole for months now,I defriended and blocked him on Facebook because of his smart and snide comments.He blocked my husband and they were never friends.He has been on a campaign and lying about me and my husband.Now he is at it again with well we know who.I think her facebook account was hacked by this moron.He will not stop.I figured out why he is doing this .He is a racist ,he is starting shit with the black online community pitting them against each other and he is sitting back laughing.But why would he do that?for shits and giggles cause he is a racist piece of shit..He stalks women on Facebook and who knows where else,he has stalked me.Making fake profiles.He needs to be stopped but how?

Julian Real said...

Hi Kristen,

Thanks so much for writing.

Could you email me at so we can discuss this more?