Wednesday, December 30, 2009

Men who buy sex: Who they buy and what they know

They don't tend to identify themselves as such. They get to be anonymous, the procuring bastards. Unless they are caught and photographed for committing a crime. Here is an image of the renowned anti-prostitution procurer of women in prostitution, former governor of the state of New York, Eliot Spitzer.
[image is from here]

Consider the following statements made by men who buy sex from women. Consider the political function of secrecy. These men will say what they do, even when they know that what they do is criminal or abusive, and won't speak unless they are anonymous for this survey. Why do men get to keep secrets on how they use and abuse women? When did that policy come into effect among men? Why do men keep each other's secrets? There's only one two reasons I'm aware of:

1. Fear of retribution from the men whose secrets they tell
2. They want the same entitlements, they want to be able to act out in the same misogynist/racist/classist/heterosexist ways, and ratting out their friends and colleagues makes it less likely they will get to "enjoy" the same privileges that come with "being a man". To the men who purchase women for sex: go fuck yourselves (instead).

From the report: 

The men were assured of anonymity. They were met in a public place and told they were not expected to give their names to anyone working on the research project and that if they used a real name, then that would not be used to identify them in the research protocols. Some men disclosed that they would not have participated if they were identified. For example, “I haven’t ever told anyone I have been to a prostitute, and I never will. It is like a dirty secret,” and also “It is something that I would not reveal, I am talking to you because you are a stranger.” A third man stated that in conversations with others, “I’d never let on I know anything about it.”
 [Also from the report, except everything in bold and in brackets was written by me, in direct response to what these procuring motherfuckers say:]

“Prostitution is like masturbating without having to use your hand.” [And taking you out would be like killing someone except there'd be no human life lost.]

“It’s like renting a girlfriend or wife. You get to choose like a catalogue.” [And, somewhat unlike having--not renting a girlfriend or wife, she doesn't get to choose.]

“I feel sorry for these girls but this is what I want.” [Wow. You should get nominated for some humanitarian prize, for that statement alone. I mean, the compassion it must take to say something like that, out loud and all! It's just amazing. Hmmm: For all you straight men who are into "restraint" you might try restraining yourselves from purchasing human beings for what you call "sex". Wouldn't THAT be a turn-on, huh??]

“No big deal, it’s just like getting a beer.” [Except you can't give a beer HPV that causes cervical cancer, or herpes, or HIV which kills poor people. And you don't make beers suck your dick.]

“I like it if it’d be super expensive…she comes in, nothing said and she is instantly very sexual, a sexual creature.” [As opposed to you, who are just doing a damn good impression of a soulless creature.]

“My favourite experience in prostitution was when she was totally submissive.” [I wish you were into being dominated, and that she'd handcuff you to a bed, smack your fucking face, and leave you there to rot.]

“I don’t like the ones that make no secret of it being a job. I like customer care. They try to finish quickly but I want to take a little bit of time.” [I wish the could take a little bit of time to carefully take your photo and put it up on a website of procurers, purchasers, and pimps of women.]

“I have sex as a means to an end to meet my sexual needs… It’s a financial transaction.” [It's a political transaction, more than it is anything else.]

“I found her on p[changedbyJulian] and she looked at me with the look of a puppy dog in the Christmas window.” [Does that mean she can treat your dick like a dog's chew toy? I hope someone does. Because wouldn't that just be adorable, like puppies in a Christmas window?]

“Look, men pay for women because he can have whatever and whoever he wants. Lots of men go to prostitutes so they can do things to them that real women would not put up with. [I wish they'd blow your fucking brains out.]

“If you go to the wrong one, you might as well be in a morgue, there’s a slab of flesh there.” [Yeah, it's really too bad some of these women don't have more strength, to strangle you until you're a slab of flesh.]

“We’re living in the age of instant coffee, instant food. This is instant sex.” [Which explains nothing about why your grandfathers and great grandfathers purchased women similarly when there was no instant coffee or instant food.]

“Prostitution is a last resort to unfulfilled sexual desires. Rape would be less safe, or if you’re forced to hurt someone or if you’re so frustrated you jack off all day.” [Rape would be less safe for... oh, you mean for YOU. Of course. And if "you're forced to hurt someone"? How does that happen, exactly? Has the pimp got a gun to your head? You poor dear--why just the thought of you having to jack off all day, and not be able to rape or abuse a woman in order to get off. Why, it's just so... so sad.]

“Prostitution is being able to do what you want without the taxation.” [Prostitution is men being able to do what they want to women because men are all too willing to be pricks instead of people.]

”It’s no strings attached sex, no bother about buying gifts, it’s a one off financial commitment.” [It's a commitment to being inhumane. And the strings are attached. You just can't see them. But if and when she gets out of the life, you'll be among those who contributed to her PTSD and shattered self-image. You give her the gift of your callousness and cruelty; I hope she gives it right back to you.]
“It should be legalised over here. This is the way God created us. It is being human. If you don’t have a partner then you have to go to a prostitute.” [If it's human, and the way God created "us" then why aren't you allowing men to ejaculate all over and inside of you?]

“It’s unfulfilling, there’s no reward. It’s empty. It’s terrible. You come out feeling even more empty and unloved. You will likely feel quite empty afterwards, as if you have been used.” [Without an ounce of comprehension that you just used someone as a thing. And if you're looking for love, don't expect to find it from someone you treat like a thing.]

“Prostitution is like being able to masturbate without doing any of the work.” [Because we all know how utterly strenuous and difficult it is for those who can masturbate to do so. Why, you might even burn some calories! Eh, why bother, when you can treat another human being like a thing, right? And who taught you how to be human?]

“You pay for the convenience, a bit like going to a public loo.” [For her, way too much like that, yes. Getting pissed on and all. For you, not so much, depending on what you do at a public loo, of course.]

“I hugely recommend it but be sure you know there’s a threshold you’ll be crossing. Prostitution is naturally questionable, whether it’s to yourself or to society.” [It's clearly not naturally questionable, or more men would question purchasing and renting women for "sex". And apparently the question you're not asking is why the hell do you think you have a goddamned right to buy or rent anyone for "sex"?]

[What follows is a link to a pdf document, which is a new report/study on men who rent and purchase women who they use and abuse, as their form of "sex", with varying levels of consciousness that that's exactly what they are doing. It's not happy reading. -- Julian]

Men who buy sex
Who they buy and what they know

A research study of 103 men who describe their use of trafficked and non-trafficked women in prostitution, and their awareness of coercion and violence.
Melissa Farley, Julie Bindel and Jacqueline M. Golding
December 2009
Eaves, London
Prostitution Research & Education, San Francisco



Prostitution and Research who jointly worked with Eaves Housing on researching men who buy women to use as masturbatory objects, also conducted another project earlier this year on Scottish men who buy women and girls to use as masturbatory objects.

No surprise then that Scottish Johns' excuses/justifications/minimalisation etc. in many ways was almost identical to London Johns interviewed.

On another note all too commonly whenever the subject concerns men who buy women/girls in order to commit sexual violence against, any accompanying photos always centre on the woman/women never the man/men buyers. After all, if it were not for men's classic excuses/pathetic justifications they need women's/girls' bodies to use as sexual service stations, which are codes for men's continuing abuse of their power over women and girls as a group, prostitution would have been abolished long ago.

So, this link focuses on the men who buy women/girls and guess what? Such men are 'normal' - they are your male work colleague, your male relative, your husband/male partner/boyfriend, in fact any man.

Note: The males posing on this website are in fact actors and as far as I know are not Johns, but sadly the same cannot be said for images of women involved in prostitution. All too often male-dominated mainstream media is lazy and simply re-uses old photos of women involved in prostitution. I wonder if mainstream media ever seeks these women's permission or do they believe such women are 'not human but just dehumanised commodities?'

The first link concerns research on Scottish Johns and the innumerable excuses/justifications they claim.

This link goes to website entitled 'End Prostitution' and Glasgow Council in Scotland is once again taking the lead with regards to challenging male violence against women. Such action shames UK's central male-dominated government which continues to appease male supremacist and pro-prostitution apologist claims 'prostitution is the old profession (should read 'oldest male oppression of women') and hence Johns must not be criminalised. However, women involved in prostitution continue to be criminalised and stigmatised.

Julian Real said...

Hi Jennifer,

Thank you for that information and analysis, as always.

For other readers and visitors to this blog, here are those links, HTML coded:

I don't think identifiable photos of anyone of any age should be used in the context of discussions of men's sexual violence and other violations against women.

I wondered about putting up an image of even an anonymous young woman on the street. "Why not a procurer?" I asked myself. The procurers are almost always made anonymous--so we never know how many men we know who carry around the belief and practice of renting and purchasing human beings for "sex". So I took down the image I had up initially, and put this in its place. MUCH better.

I truly believe that the right to privacy, and most certainly secrecy, ends the moment a man violates a female human being. Put his face all over the place, identifying him by what he did. There should be tons of websites devoted to doing this. If you know of any, please let me know. I'll link to them.

I wish every one of the procurers/prostitutors were visually identified by these studies, by name and face and body, so that we would all know, again and again and again, yes, these men are my brothers, my father, my son, my elected officials, my preachers, police officers, government security agents, my fellow soldiers, and my best friends.

And they deserve nothing akin to privacy for what they do.

And what are we to do about the term "john" which is about as innocent sounding a term for a purchaser of human beings as it gets. Women in prostitution are called many things by men, none of them value neutral. None of them stray from being misogynistic. Women in prostitution are not called "Jane" in countries where the predators are called "Johns".

Here in the U.S. there is a concerted effort to do away with the term "john" and replace it with something that tells us what he's doing, politically.

At least the term "pimp" has a negative stigma... well, for some. But patriarchal profit-maker, and predatory possessor of girls and women works better for me. But "pimp" is shorter. Ah, the acronym! Predatory Incesting Male Profiteer. P.I.M.P. (The relationship has elements, often enough, of the father or father figure "taking in" the girl or young woman, so "incest" applies due to the betrayal of trust he accomplishes in their relationship.)