Monday, March 1, 2010

Child Molestation: How to Help Prevent It, Hopefully, and Knowing Who To Watch Out For: Clue--Men who are around your children

[image is from here]

I haven't read either book, and if anyone has, I'd be interested to know how helpful they are. I am always dubious about things like this, after watching an Oprah show. As you may know, Oprah Winfrey is a survivor of child molestation and incest and has worked to make sure predators are caught and arrested.

The program featured mom's who had done all the right things in teaching their daughters about child sexual abuse and came to find out that their daughters were survivors, because the perps had threatened, shamed, humiliated, controlled, and terrorised the girls.

And I HATE the term "pedophile" as much as I'd hate the term "gynophile" for "serial rapist". The term, if we're going that route, is "misopedist". But "child molester" or "incest perpetrator" or "raper of children" suffices. Information on two books follows. I'm not linking to the site where I found this because it's weird. What comes next is all from *here*, as is the image above.

Child Molesters

Predators and Child Molesters: What Every Parent Needs to Know to Keep Kids Safe

Predators and Child Molesters: What Every Parent Needs to Know to Keep Kids Safe
Predators and Child Molesters by Robin Sax is the first book to be awarded Amber Alert Book of the Year Award.
There is no crime not even murder that worries and sickens parents more than child sexual abuse. Parents wonder how to protect their children when almost every day the news reports another incident of someone in authority arrested on suspicion of child abuse from clergy and teachers to family members themselves. Even law enforcement has had trouble defining the problem and only recently has the Department of Justice begun recording statistics of sexual assault against children. Amid the confusion generated by sensational news reports and uncertainty regarding the nature and extent of child sexual abuse, what can parents do?
In this straightforward, clearly written guidebook, veteran sex-crimes prosecutor and Los Angeles deputy district attorney Robin Sax answers one hundred questions that she has most often encountered in her fifteen years of experience. From the definition of abuse to the profiles of a predator to how to report an incident and to whom, Sax provides practical, reassuring, and appropriate information.
For ease of use, the book is organized into six major sections:
-Recognizing predators: molesters, pedophiles, and opportunists

-Talking to kids about risks and identifying potential problems

-Recognizing abuse

-Reporting sexual abuse

-Going to court

-Healing and moving on
Sax makes it clear that protecting children begins with every parent in the home. Parents must view protecting children from the potential of sexual assault as a priority. Teaching children preventive measures should be viewed as important as teaching kids how to dial 9-1-1.
Sax concludes by emphasizing that the best defense against sexual offenders is information. Her book provides realistic answers to empower parents and educators, even in the face of one of life's scariest threats.

Author: Robin Sax
Paperback:  179 pages ISBN13: 9781591027126, Condition: NEW, Notes: Brand New from Publisher. No Remainder Mark.
Company: Prometheus Books  (2009-04-21)
ISBN: 1591027128
List Price: $17.98
Amazon Price: $6.11
Used Price: $5.10

Predators: Pedophiles, Rapists, And Other Sex Offenders

Predators: Pedophiles, Rapists, And Other Sex Offenders A world-renowned expert provides a psychological profile of serial sex offenders-how they think, how they deceive their victims, and how they elude the law. What motivates sexual abusers? Why are so few caught? Drawing on the stories of abusers, Anna C. Salter shows that sexual predators use sophisticated deception techniques and rely on misconceptions surrounding them to evade discovery. Arguing that even the most knowledgeable among us can be fooled, Salter dispels the myths about sexual predators and gives us the tools to protect our families and ourselves.

Author: Anna Salter
Paperback:  288 pages ISBN13: 9780465071739, Condition: NEW, Notes: Brand New from Publisher. No Remainder Mark.
Company: Basic Books  (2004-03) (2004-03-30)
ISBN: 0465071732
List Price: $17.95
Amazon Price: $8.10
Used Price: $7.01



'Salter profiles child molesters, rapists, sadists, and psychopaths, including their general techniques for deception. Her final chapter, focused on helping parents to protect their children, emphasizes deflecting sex offenders--because detecting them is nearly impossible--with practical suggestions for vigilantly monitoring children's activities and who coaches or counsels them.'

This is taken from the rear cover of Anne Salter's deeply flawed book.

I attempted to read Anne Salter's book Predators, Paedophiles etc. but I knew there was something wrong with her claims. Then I found the answer via an article entitled 'Weasel Words' by Liz Kelly, 1996 and article is now part of a collection of radical feminist writing in book entitled The Trouble & Strife Reader.

Kelly wrote words such as paedophile, predator, child molestor presume such males are 'deviant monsters' - not respectable males. Paedophile serves to make society feel more 'safe' because it is always 'the monster out there we need to be afraid of' - not the man who lives within our family or is well-respected by our family because we've known him for years and years.

Paedophile serves to deflect attention from how our male supremacist society has now totally sexualised and dehumanised girl childre, wheren their sole value lies in being mis-represented as men's sexual service stations. The deliberate sexualisation of girl childen by the sex industry, pornographers, male-dominated media and male-controlled corporations has supposedly no relation whatsoever to the increasing numbers of males committing sexual violence against girl children. These males view porn and very quickly assimulate the belief that given they are male all females will view them as sexually desirable, even girl children.

But, as Liz Kelly wrote, paedophile serves to make the male child rapist 'othered' - he unlike those powerful plausible men - fathers, uncles, brothers, male cousins - is the outsider. But this ignores just how male power and male violence operates. Men who commit sexual violence against children are predominantly those who are known to the child/family. Male sexual predators do not have horns on their heads but many certainly view child porn, form internet connections with other male predators. Moreover most men who commit sexual violence against female children are not 'paedophiles' because these men had/have sexual relations with adult women. It is not that the child is a child but that she is female and hence the male rapist is entitled to sexual access to her body.

Salters portrays male sexual predators as 'deviant others' not as normal respectable men. Parents alone cannot be 24/7 watchful of their children - or if they are then the child/children is a prisoner.

We cannot expect girl children to be able to correctly respond when they are subjected to male sexual violence from an older male or adult male. Telling children they must always tell a responsible adult etc. places accountability and responsibility with the child -not the male rapist.


Innumerable girl children are raped and subjected to sexual torture by seemingly 'respectable men who are their fathers, uncles, male cousins, brothers, well-known catholic priest etc.' All too commonly the men are cunning, clever and manipulate the child so she believes she is to blame not him. Not forgetting of course what about the male parent who rapes his daughter and female partner - just who is the female child supposed to tell? The police, her teacher, clergy, social workers? Will they believe her or will they believe she is another 'Lolita' because she is too sexually knowing for her age so she cannot possibly be a victim of male sexual violence.

Salter should have investigated the innumerable ways men abuse their positions of power within the so-called family - that supposed haven from a dangerous world. Why do so many men commit sexual violence against female children they know?

It is not the 'deviant monster' out there we need to be aware of - it is the respectable male pillar of the community we need to be wary of. The man who everyone thinks they know because he is such a good father. But what these 'good people do not want to consider is intrafamilial male violence is far more common than the male deviant 'paedophile.'

Children do not have the power adult women and men have and assuming all parents need to do is to teach the child how to be 'safe' is arrogant and totally ignores the realities of male power. Do parents teach female children their bodies belong to them and no they do not have to endure their 'slimy, uncle/older male cousin touching their bodies because he is showing affection to them.' children's bodies belong to them not to adults and no girl children should not have to submit to the 'slimy uncle planting kisses on her and craftily sexually assaulting her at the same time.

The other book Predators and Child Molestors takes the same approach - parents teach your children how to stay safe and hey presto everything will be fine. Just as women and girls are constantly told/admonished and ordered to be responsible for their safety and if they do not - they not the man/men who subject them to sexual violence is to blame.

So it is with children - teach them to be constantly aware and hey presto the 'nasty bogey men will disappear!' I wish oh I wish it was that easy - but this neatly ignores just how our male supremacist society operates. What happens when a child does everything her parents tell her and yet a known adult male or known older male subjects her to sexual violence. Is she to blame because she failed to prevent the male rapist? Does the child and yes it happens to boys too but to a lesser extent than girls - believe they are responsible in some way for 'allowing the male to rape/subject them to sexual violence/torture? The answer is yes because Salter and the other author believe all we need do is tell children how they can keep themselves 'safe' and everything will be fine.

Rapist Roman Polanski continues to be lauded and treated as though he is the 'real victim' just because he believed he had the right to rape and subject a girl child to sexual violence. But then Polanski is a very powerful white male and he too has suffered personal tragedy. So this supposedly excuses his crimes since women and girls' rights are irrelevant compared to the white male's rights.

Julian Real said...

Thank you, Jennifer!

I figured these books do that, or that at least one of them would.

A radical feminist analysis of who sexually abuses children is not so welcomed or wanted in dominant society which seeks to keep white het men the group that is the "non-other", the group that cannot and will not be stimgatised as normally dangerous, not dangerous only when "abnormal".

Child sexual abuse, and especially the sexual abuse of girls and young women is normal sexual activity for het men. They are non deviant, not monsters, not "those men over there".

They are daddy, grandpa, the favorite uncle, the older brother, the male cousin who lived with us for a while, the neighbor man whose pool we swam in, the step-dad who the spouse was relieved got on so well with her kids when they met.

"To properly protect children..."

As you note, this phrase assumes that normal men won't do that work themselves and that daddy, brother, step-dad, and grandpa aren't the rapists, which I've noted to much disdain and denial from white het men... in comments that are not posted here.

The issue with men's sexual violence against children and women is: How and when will men systematically stop other men from doing what men normally do that is not considered wrong or harmful.